Oh the complications

The European Parliament is having a fire drill. Nothing contentious in that. But nothing is as simple as it seems. Somebody has sent me the details.

What happens?

· An alarm will begin ringing, area by area, triggering immediately the intervention of security personnel who will move to the affected zone:

· The evacuation will proceed by zone;

· NB: The evacuation exits will open; the fire doors will close automatically;

· The smoke extraction system will switch on automatically.

What to do?

At the sound of the alarm:
· take only your personal belongings;
· when leaving your office, close the windows and doors without locking them;
· do not use the elevators or service lifts;

· follow the green arrow markings leading to the staircase and the evacuation route until you have left the building;

· do not under any circumstances turn back;
· once outside the buildings, assemble in the places indicated by the security staff.

N.B: Persons with reduced mobility will be taken care of on a floor by floor basis by the security staff.

Well that is all pretty clear. So what could be the problem?

Dear Mr President,

I would like to thank you for informing us about the evacuation exercise that will take place in the coming days.

As the first deaf member of the European Parliament I would like to draw your attention to the fact that due to my hearing impairment I am afraid, I won't hear the alarm ringing. Therefore I would be more than happy to consult the body responsible for the accessibility of the Parliament's alarm system, in order to find a common solution and all disabled people working in the European Parliament can feel comfortable in the case of a real danger.

Looking forward to hearing from you soon.

Yours sincerely,

Ádám KÓSA MEP

Suggestions as to how to deal with this have ranged from the caustic,

A perfect emblem of what is wrong with society: systems are no substitute for people in making others comfortable.

Indignant, Cheltenham

To the caring

Surely a red flag-waving fireman could be assigned to him at all times he's in the building, ready to wave the flag in his face in the event the alarm goes off.